Erroronious! Erroronious!

What?! Hold on just one cotton pickin' minute here. I am the enemy? The listless, beaten man needs to be kicked some more, huh? Will the torment never end......(I hope not)

Leave it to the big-budget, fancy-picture havin', high falutin' Mr. Bucket to employ aggressive right wing tactics against any and all oncomers. The "don't worry little Johnny, we do the thinking arounnd here" mindset reminds of a political machine. But, it isn't like Mr. Bucket preaches politics on his site, is it? Ohh, thats right.....








I can tell you this. I don't want a war. Matter of fact, I just don't have the energy. It takes all I got to get out of bed, put on my cleanest dirty shirt, wash the dentures, and try to make itto my first cup of coffee. Why in the world would I want to compete? I'm too tired. I was hoping to be the yang to Mr. Bucket's ying. But he pulled out the big guns. He declared war. So, yes, I may be lazy, needy, narcosistic, arrogant, trite, rude, and just down right unpredictable, but what I am not is chicken. As the Band put it, "You can't raise a Cane back up when he's in defeat!"






Anyway, who am I kidding. I don't even have the energy to fake an aggressive attack. My main goal is to let Mr. Bucket do all the work, while I just act the parasite. Yeah, there is some Biology for you bitches!

But one thing I don't want to become is a mock site. One that only discusses others life. Lord knows there are enough of those in the celebrity world. Wait....those are really popular. Hmmm...ok. Change of plan. You get famous, and I'll rip you for it. Deal?

(Some of my favorite examples include, I mean why waste money on US Weekly?):
www.wwtdd.com It asks the question, I think, what would Tyler Durden think of all this?
www.thesuperficial.com It's ok. I guess.
www.hollywoodtuna.com Has good pics sometimes.
www.popsugar.com This one is for the ladies. The have a whole lifestyle service kind of deal

Tune in later this week for some actual insight to the pathetic existence that is,

The Bard's Blues Blog.




P.S.

Ice cream?! Are you fucking kidding me? Your deepest insight was over a bowl of ice cream? Sure there weren't any puppies around at the time? Maybe a unicorn?

My life lesson of the same sort came after a football game. I was 7. When I was younger (pre-teen) I was really good at sports. The star pitcher, the star quarterback, the sprinter, the top of the pile kind of leader you look for in pre-puberty kids. I had promise. What I didn't have was a pituitary gland. Anyway.........after the "big game", in which I had three touchdowns (one a run of over 80 yards), I was named MVP. It was a great moment. But not super unusual.
I was bad ass....not so much now, but then.

On the way up to accept the award, my Dad pulled me by the back of the neck to the side,off the field. He said, "I know you heard your name over the PA alot today, and you must think you are hot shit, huh? Well, you don't think I didn't see you miss that tackle on defense? You think you can just let some guy get by you and not do anything cause you are Mr. Touchdown? If you spent less time trying to be the hero, and more time hittin somebody, you might be worth a shit. What are you a Prima Donna? Quit tryin to be the goddamn Hero! Now go get your bullshit trophy so we can get out of here." I was 7. Seriously. True story.

Thats good with the bad balance Bard style! We didn't
stop for ice cream on the way home in case you were wondering.